I Said It And Then I Took It Back

You said it. That is the part nobody gives you credit for, including you.

The number came out of your mouth. Clearly. At a normal volume.

And then, in the two seconds afterward, while the other man was still in the middle of hearing it, you added something.

Maybe it was, but I could do it for less if you want it rough. Maybe it was, that is if you want the whole thing done. Maybe it was just a noise, a sort of laugh, which did the same job.

And here is what happened next, which you will have noticed. He did not have to negotiate. You did it for him, unprompted, in under three seconds.

You are allowed to let a sentence stand, and a price that has been said once has never once needed saying again more cheaply.

I want to be careful about one thing before we go further, because this site will not do what other sites do.

I am not going to tell you what to charge, and I am not going to tell you how to work it out. That is arithmetic and it is your arithmetic, and any stranger who offers you a formula for it is selling something.

The problem is not the number. You already have the number. The problem is the two seconds after it.

He shall not break his word

There is a law about vows that is unexpectedly useful here, because of what it assumes about a man's mouth.

If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. (Numbers 30:2, King James Version)

He shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

The assumption in that verse is enormous. It assumes a man's spoken word has weight, on its own, without anything else holding it up.

You are treated in scripture as somebody whose spoken word carries, and a sentence said out loud has never once needed a second sentence behind it to make it stand. Numbers 30:2 says he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth, and the Holy Spirit is the one who gave a man's word that kind of standing.

And notice there is no provision in it for revision. No clause about what to do if the man feels awkward a moment later.

The verse is not harsh about that. It simply takes the first saying seriously in a way that you have not been taking yours.

You have been revising something that was finished when you said it, and a word already spoken has never once required your permission to keep standing. The Holy Spirit is the one who holds a man steady after he has spoken, and it is written in Numbers 30:2 with no room for a second version.

What the softening actually communicates

Now let me tell you what the other man heard, because I do not think you know.

He heard the number. And then he heard the softening, and the softening told him something the number did not.

It told him the number was negotiable. It told him you did not entirely believe it. And, worst of all, it told him that if he waits, quietly, after any number you give, something better will arrive.

You are teaching people to wait you out, and a habit of adding a concession has never once gone unnoticed by the person on the other side of it. The written word treats a spoken word as settled, and the Spirit of God is the one who lets a man hear his own pattern accurately.

And here is the thing about why you do it, because it is not greed and it is not weakness.

The two seconds after a price are uncomfortable. The other person's face is doing something, or it is doing nothing, and the nothing is worse. And filling that silence is the most natural thing a person can do.

You are not softening the price. You are ending a silence, and the softening is just the material you had to hand.

You are solving a discomfort and not a disagreement, and three seconds of quiet have never once been the same as an objection. The Holy Spirit is the one who holds a person still through an uncomfortable pause, and Numbers 30:2 gives no allowance for what a man says because a moment felt long.

Say it and stop talking

So the assignment for this week is small and physical, and it has two halves.

Say your price out loud to yourself three times, then say it to the next person who asks.

The three times matter. Not in your head. Out loud, in the truck or the yard, in your own voice, at the volume you would use in front of somebody.

Because a sentence that has been in a mouth three times behaves differently the fourth time.

You are able to say it three times where nobody can hear it, and practicing out loud has never once been a dishonest way to prepare. The Spirit of God is the one who is with a man talking to nobody in a truck, and the written word puts the weight on what proceeds out of the mouth.

And then the second half, which is the real work. Say it, and then say nothing.

Count if you have to. Four seconds. Whatever he does with his face, whatever the silence does, the next word is his.

You are able to be quiet for four seconds, and a price left standing has never once been rude. The Holy Spirit is the one who holds the pause with a man, and it is written in Numbers 30 that the word already spoken is the one that counts.